The Ugly Truth About Planning My Wedding

When most people picture weddings, they think of love, happiness, and all things joy. Although my personal experience involved all of the above, there were definitely times of sadness and dejection. Not because I was unhappy to be getting married or anything like that, but because of my father and the role that fathers are "supposed" to play in weddings.

I wanted to write this blog post because I feel like the raw, ugly emotions that can come up when planning a wedding aren't talked about enough. I did not write this for sympathy or for you to feel bad for me. My hope is that this might prepare someone who has to deal with this in the future or for someone reading this to know they are not alone.

Whether your father passed away, is an alcoholic, abused you, or any case where your he is just not present in your life, the planning process can bring up some unpleasant emotions. For personal reasons, I chose to not invite my father to my wedding. During this process, the thought of him not being there was ever present on my mind. When the DJ asked me what song I would like to play for the father and daughter dance, I could feel my stomach drop and a pain growing in my chest. When I thought of who would walk me down the aisle, sadness crept in, because I knew that society says it should be your father. When researching videographers, I saw videos of other fathers crying as they danced with their daughters. These fathers had tears of joy but I had tears of pain.

Unfortunately, these unwanted feelings arose for me on several occasions. I just wanted to share some things I did that helped me process my emotions and have the best wedding I could have ever asked for. My advice is to prepare for emotional moments as much as you can. When these feelings take center stage, don't be afraid to speak to someone about them. Bottling them up can cause you to blow up and/or not enjoy the process at all. You really need to make sure you are taking care of yourself. Juggling everyday life with wedding planning is stressful enough without factoring in these displeasing emotions. You NEED to do the things that will help you! Go to the gym, write in your journal, take a walk, get outside for some fresh air. Whatever it is that helps you, is necessary to do during this time.

My last piece of advice is to remember that this is YOUR fucking day! Don't let anyone tell you differently or that things should be this way or that way. It is completely up to you and your significant other! Your special day is what you make it. It can be completely perfect if you want it to be. I had to make the tough decision upfront of not inviting my dad and some family members that might have asked questions or caused my day to be hindered in any way. I wanted my day to be 100% filled with love, joy and support. And I'll tell you what, my wedding day was the best day of my life so far! I felt nothing but pure love and happiness from my family and friends who came. Just remember, this day is to celebrate you and your significant other, no one else.

Photography by: Asha Bailey Photography

Sending all my love!

Xx,

Krystal Ann